Green Light...?

Song of the Day: 'Beautiful Dreamer', Bing Crosby

I wish my many attempts at utilizing my creativity would manifest itself into ONE SIMPLE THING so that I didn't end up with as many half finished projects as I do.

I've got a number of half-baked story ideas, few of which have actually gone anywhere. Those that do don't for long - I eventually lose interest or forget or just... meh.

Many chord progressions have been 'written' and forgotten, even more abandoned. I can't seem to complete the song writing cycle to come up with a satisfactory combination of music, melody, and words.

I took up painting and colored-pencil drawing once upon a time, and I wasn't half bad. I've a few of my itty bitty canvases around the house, mostly flowers from the garden or something outside I thought was pretty. And then that died.

I've filled a book almost halfway with poetry (though I did cross out a few of them that sucked balls), but actually feeling inspired enough to put pen to paper comes in rare waves - maybe twice a year I'll crank out five or six and then just stop.

What with Youtube and its increasing popularity, I even tried once or twice to make video blogs. I never manage to come up with a decent enough idea to actually continue with them, but I tried.

There was even a few years in elementary and middle school when I really enjoyed sewing and made all of my friends pillows for birthdays and Christmas and the like. That idea died too.

I crochet, but that comes in phases the way my poetry does - I'll get in the mood (usually around the fall) and make some scarves or hats for friends and family, as well as start a number of scarves and hats for friends and family. I usually find those incomplete projects tucked away in my closet a number of months later.

In sixth grade I tried my hand at what I thought was 'fashion design' - really just drawing random clothes and outfits to see what I got. Some of them were pretty creative, and I even 'designed' my ideal wedding dress a number of times, but then that lost its fun too.

Cooking and baking can be fun - when it's not too messy or gross or I'm baking cookies for the zillionth time.

I tried ballet for a bit when I was six or seven - that resulted in me sitting in a corner refusing to do anything. Dancing is fun, but I'm too self-conscious about my body to actually try and turn my car dancing into any type or refined skill.

Photography came and went - there's only so much you can do with a digital camera, and I didn't have the heart to really dig in and learn any of the cool aspects of it. Plus there are only so many times you can show your parents a picture of a flower and expect them to be impressed.

I want to be good at these things. I'd settle for being decently good and a few of these things. But I never get anywhere - my plans don't come full circle and ideas don't come into fruition, so I lose hope and sometimes abandon them before even trying.

Unfortunately for me, I have the attention span of a cracker and the drive of a moped.

Oy.

'Go do, you'll learn to

just let yourself fall into landslide

go do, you'll learn to

just let yourself give into low tide

go do!' - 'Go Do', Jónsi