The Moon and Stars are Ganging Up on the Sun

Song of the Day: 'Girl Police', The Dudes

What IS it about college that makes people want to fuck students over?

Maybe they think it's character building. Maybe they think dealing with disappointment and last minute changes that are not only severely inconvenient but mildly heartbreaking will 'better prepare you for the future', or some shit.

Either way, they are damn good at picking that one thing to set you over the edge and make you walk back to your room in the pouring rain crying enough to make you look like a drowned rat who's addicted to pot.

I dealt with my best friend's father dying and my inability to be present at his memorial let alone near her for the next four months. I managed to make it through a red-eye flight, three hour layover, second flight, train rid, moving into my building and all in oppressively hot and humid weather after having been awake longer than twenty four hours. I didn't actually kill anyone when I couldn't get into my storage unit to get all of my stuff. Nor when I found out it was because the stupid lady wrote down my access code wrong. Not even when a couple of drawers of clothing and knickknacks were covered in mould and everything came out smelling like my dad's twenty year old tent. When my Italian class got moved to the other side of campus and I had to walk through the pouring rain to get there, I really wasn't in that bad of a mood.

But then.

THEN.

I got switched from assistant stage managing RENT to stage managing a student rep later in the year.

Yes, to any other production student, that would probably seem like a promotion. But I spent the entire summer since finding out my production assignment so excited to be working on RENT. A show I love, that's been with me since the early teenage years. Yes, Mimi probably should die since it is actually based on 'La Boheme', but I could get over that fact knowing I'd get to actually WORK THAT SHOW.

And then I met the cast! Well, 'met' is a strong word. I was in their presence and they came to realise I was more than a spectator. But this CAST, man. They can ACT. Even more, they can SING. In fact, they're all rather terrifying, especially as a whole. But there is such freaking TALENT in that group of people I could have dealt with the fear merely to be a part of that. Plus I was supposed to be working with two of my year mates who are also two of my best friends. Talk about fun.

But nooooo, the stupid senior production students CLEARLY get priority. Just because I'm almost the bottom of the totem pole - and there really isn't any 'almost' about it, freshmen don't count cuz they don't get any real assignments until second semester at the earliest - I get relegated to something I DIDN'T want, I DIDN'T sign up for, and would probably make a complete mess of. ofwhichI'dmakeacompletemess.

What's worse is that if they'd simply signed up this other chick there in the first place and me somewhere else, I wouldn't complain. I would have taken what they gave me and probably be psyched for it all the same. But they swept this out from under me even LATER than the last minute, if that's possible - we started rehearsal YESTERDAY and it got switched TODAY.

I've talked to the head of the department about it. He said he was glad I came to him about it, and that he'd get back to me after talking with a couple of the other teachers who make the assignment decisions. But still. I got entirely screwed over, and really, it's enough to crack your spirit a bit.

'Bones are broken and the will is sunk

how did everything get so fucked up?' - 'Manifest Destiny', Guster