It's hard to write a blog post about something that isn't happening directly to you but you're still mixed up in. When it's not your problem to solve, but you're still in it because your opinion has been asked and it would go against your better judgement to not try and help them.
All I want to do is complain about the problem, the fact that there is a problem, that I'm trying to help, and no one is taking my advice even though THEY brought me into it and THEY asked for my help.
But all that would lead to is me ranting about a problem that isn't mine, telling a one-sided story and my biased opinion of it, and how easy it would be to fix it if only they freaking did what I'm telling them to do.
So I sit and stop giving my opinion. They keep asking for it, but they won't listen. And then I feel stupid for having said anything at all and second guess my advice.
It's sound advice. I don't really have a lot of experience in the 'drama' department, regardless of it's familial, friend, or otherwise. But I am damn good at being objective. I'm good at seeing the other side, playing devil's advocate when necessary, and finding a logical and not too over-the-top way of handling a problem when necessary.
Sometimes I think it's because they like the drama. Honestly, I've never met people who collect THIS much melodrama in their lives as some of the friends I've got at school. And what's really annoying is when they complain about how much drama there is in the life. IF YOU WERE TO FUCKING DEAL WITH THE DRAMA INSTEAD OF REACTING ON INSTINCT AND EXACERBATING THE PROBLEM, YOU WOULD HAVE. LESS. DRAMA.
But then I remember that people are human. Sure, a little drama keeps you on your toes, spices things up, and makes for an interesting story once it's over and done with. But I don't think people like it, per say. Sometimes people enjoy inciting drama - it does make for a good spectator sport. But I honestly think that most drama comes from people not wanting to act like adults.
It's true. If you've a problem with someone, talk about it with them. Don't go talking about it behind their backs, complaining to friends and telling virtually everyone BUT them. That doesn't help. That makes it worse.
But, people are people, and directly talking to someone seems to be way too hard for the world. So we'll just keep gossiping until our ears fall off, and maybe that'll eventually lead to world peace.
'Say there's something better
you don't see it, you won't find it
say there's something better
you're behind it but you won't get it.' - 'Molasses', The Hush Sound
you don't see it, you won't find it
say there's something better
you're behind it but you won't get it.' - 'Molasses', The Hush Sound
Gossip leads to world peace. You heard it here first, folks.
ReplyDeleteSeriously though, you give WONDERFUL advice. As you said, you're excellent at being objective (even with me, whom you love so dearly and so greatly) and helping people reach there own conclusions, even if they need a nudge or two along the way. And you can help people see the other side of arguments and make people talk to one another. These friends must be DETERMINED not to work things out if you're unable to help them. We should skype when they "happen" to be in the room and then I can a) talk loudly about how awesome you are at helping resolve drama or b) tell them to shut their asses up and listen to you because you seem to be the only one in the whole situation with a head on your damn shoulders.
lessthansidewayseight
ReplyDelete