It's just past five in the morning here. I finished 'Looking for Alaska' by John Green about thirty minutes ago. Ra Ra Riot's 'Can You Tell' has been on repeat for the past twenty. My tummy has been dissatisfied with me for the past couple hours. None of my neighbors are home so I've been singing (albeit quietly) when I shower. I'm very aware of my chin and how it looks doubled, but that's a genetic thing, not a fat thing, so I try not to worry. I'm afraid I may have weirded away one of my friends. There's lots of snow on the ground. I got to wear one of my new shirts today, and get to wear another one tomorrow. Me and Lee are shirt twins. I really want to cry, but I think I might be too emotionally tired to produce tears, and yet not physically tired enough to sleep. I split an infinitive in that last sentence. For some reason, I only tune in to the song just as it gets to the end and then starts up again. I've run into my RA a number of times while he's been shirtless, and he always looks a little sheepish walking around without a shirt on - I wonder why he does it, if he cares if he gets caught. I think my roommate is unnecessarily selfish sometimes, but I still love her for how much she cares. I didn't know that elephants were violent, but I guess they can be. I really like when I can be hanging out with someone, but not necessarily need to talk to be comfortable. I want to adopt all the puppies in the world. I don't think I've seen the first three Star Wars (the bad ones) more than once each. Sometimes I wish corsets were still fashionable and/or affordable. I've been buying a lot of clothing lately because A) I can technically afford to, and B) I think it'll do a lot more for my self-esteem and self-image. I really like harmonizing to music. I really want a platypus. I think my next tattoo is gonna be Winnie-the-Pooh as a little black raincloud, possibly on the front of my right shoulder (chest area). I'm very aware of other peoples body odor. The second ballast in our overhead light has been out since last semester. I'm more excited for my 'Religions of India' class than most of my drama courses. I got notebooks for most of my classes made of recycled paper and I'm really excited to use them. I've began washing my face before going to sleep at night, and I think it's a good idea. Sometimes I feel like my friends aren't actually interested in me as a person because they don't seem as curious about me as I am about them. I love reading other peoples text messages, especially when the conversation is occurring near me. The underside of my hair is now purple, and will next probably be raspberry.
I've been writing for ten minutes now, just trying to think of things to say. Bad things, good things, silly things, important things, trivial things, random musings, reoccurring thoughts, etc. I think people forget about the etc. We don't remember there's always more than meets the eye, and we can never see all of someone because we only have our own pair of eyes with which to view them.
We also forget about the ideas. The feelings. I need to stop (or rather, start) trying to get good grades so I can pass my classes - I should instead aim for the knowledge I'm going to gain and the future it will allow for. I need to stop planning so far ahead - not all together, but to an extent, because we don't know who or how or what or where or maybe even when we'll be a few years, months, days, hours from now.
'Permanent' isn't really that good of an idea to constantly remember, even though there are only constant reminders - such is the way with permanency. But permanency isn't. Not really. Not in the big scheme of things. It can be for a while, and it can be good, maybe even great, but it's only for a while, and people should try to remember that more often. Not the impending, doomed 'it will end', just that 'it won't always be'. It's not forever. Forever is too abstract for permanency.
'Oh, can you tell I'm losing sleep?
Oh, what am I supposed to do?'
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