OHAITHERE

Song of the Day: 'January Wedding', The Avett Brothers

Welp, looks like THIS still exists, though they've changed the format. I forgot what it was like to have time to spend updating this. But I guess that since I gave up quite a bit of my regular sleep schedule, blogging had to go for a while too.

But now it's SUMMER and I have TIME to do things! Whether or not I have the energy is a different matter, not one that I shall be delving into at the present time.

I spend a lot of time on tumblr. It managed to take over what free time I had during the school year that I couldn't spend asleep slash didn't feel quite like working. Yaaaaay, priorities.

Other than tumblr, I keep up with various webcomics and watch television shows online, most recently Frasier. Ya know, it might just be time to get busy with activity again.

What I lack is drive. I don't wanna do things. I have little to no will to make myself get active, even when I know I'll enjoy it or it will be good for me. I have this problem with self control too. I eat what I want when I want (if we have it), and I don't limit myself. Granted, my twenties IS the time to do this - while my digestive tract can handle it - but it's just such a bad habit. Plus, sometimes I end up feeling sick, and it's hard to feel like the yummyness I ate that probably caused said discomfort is worth it.

I'm not really a goal setting person. At least, not beyond the normal things - take the right courses, don't fail any of them, graduate at some point, mayhaps get a job and my own apartment kinda thing. And those are just the long-term ones. The short term ones come easily as well - get up, eat breakfast, watch Frasier. I'm damn good at filling my days with nothingness.

But what about the other goals? Those that fall in-between the short and long term. What am I doing this summer? When will I have enough money to go get another tattoo? What books do I want to try and get read before school starts up again? When am I getting my haircut?

And what about the abstract goals, things like health and better study habits and regulating my sleeping pattern? All things that at some point will be a long term goal, but have yet to weigh enough on my conscience to get me to do a damn thing.

It's strange - it's different in the school year. I know activity comes with the fact that I have to BE places, like work and classes, and I have friends to spend my free time with. But I'm also a lot more independent, more self-sufficient. Whenever I come home, I'm in a room in my parents home, we do everyone's laundry and dishes, we share all the common areas and have to clean up after ourselves. Don't get me wrong - I love my family. I love getting to come home and spend time with them for a few months when I spend two thirds of the year galloping out of my ever-loving mind. It's a great place and environment in which I get to relax, catch up on sleep, and do nothing for a while. But it gets to a point when the nothing is too much. After so much rampant activity during the school year and to then stop dead - it shifts something. Probably my state of mind most of all, but it's so sudden that it leaves me... wanting.

I dunno. I mean, I get this way every summer and have yet to do something different. Really, I just complain and continue doing nothing cuz overall, I like it. I like watching Frasier reruns, and I like going through my iTunes and finally listening to some of the things I haven't gotten around to. I like reading my books and baking and doing easy, regular things. I guess I just wish I had a better balance of the concerts, movie nights, and going into the city for the summer. Probably the same way I wish I had more time for reading, baking, and rerun-watching during the school year.


Yeesh, it's like I'm FOREVER DISCONTENT or something.

Go figure, right? Being human and all, whodathunk.

'Fog lifts to reveal potential
for generations prophesized
our growth to be exponential
our promise finally realized.' - 'Feel it Turn', Great Big Sea