Blah, Change.

Song of the Day: 'La Vie En Rose', Louis Armstrong

Tomorrow is my last day on the East Coast for a very long time.

The last time in New York.

The last time on campus.

The last time in my dorm.

The last time with my roommate.

The last time I’ll look out the window and see the bell tower and the library behind it.

The last time I’ll be able to see Long Island and all its flatness, with the ten or fifteen water towers visible from my room on the seventh floor.

Today was the last time I’ll see the many friends I’ve made within the drama department this past semester.

The last time I’ll be in the design studio.

The last time I’ll probably walk around South Campus.

The last time I’ll see some of my best friends.

For three. Whole. Months.

Why do I feel like my arm is being severed off?

I have their phone numbers. I’m friends with them on facebook. We can skype. And I’ll see them all again next semester, only three months away.

And in the meantime I get to go home. To see my family. My friends. My puppies. My sister will be home for a few weeks, after SIX MONTHS in Spain, after not seeing her since January. I’ll get to go back and visit my high school friends, actually SEE one of their shows, mayhaps even help out a little.

I’ll be interning at one of the more prominent theatres in Seattle. Granted, for no pay, but I’ll get the Experience (with a capital E and that rhymes with P and that stands for Pool!) and spend time working in a legitimate theatre, doing legitimate theatre type things.

I may even get a job for when I’m not at the Paramount, so as to get myself a little money for, oh I don’t know, college and stuff. Perhaps I’ll take a summer course, to raise my GPA and get some general requirements out of the way.

Not to mention the IMMENSE amount of time frolicking in the sun, watching movies in the dark, and the all sorts of adventures in between with my amazing friends who I haven’t gotten to spend time with in way too long.

I’ll get to go to my best friends graduation and subsequent party, to celebrate her achievements and success in high school and figuring out what she wants to do with her life.

I’ll get to celebrate the Fourth of July with my family and some of our best friends, possibly the way we did last time around in the hopes of starting a tradition.

I’ll get to laze about the countryside with my grandparents in their secluded home, with an open yard for the dogs and croquet and plenty of card playing.

Maybe I’ll even get my driver’s license. Finally.

Last semester all I could think about was how much I missed my family and my friends from home. This semester, with new amazing and wonderful friends, that feeling was lessened (though still present). And now, with my impending departure tomorrow, I feel as if my world is ending a little bit.

I can blame my abundance of sentimentality on my period, on being sick, even on being exhausted from the last few weeks. But while all of those might be having an effect on my emotional state, I really just want to blame myself.

I made friends. Good friends. Best friends. I’ve determined what I want to do with my life. I’ve gotten involved in a department that has so many familial type qualities, it makes for a wonderful environment in which I can grow and learn and maybe go a little crazy. I’ve signed up for classes in which I actually want to excel, that will help my plans for the future. I’ve done SO many amazing things this semester and made so many awesome plans, it’s got me all excited for the next three years here.

And tomorrow I leave it all behind to go back to the mundanity of ‘life at home’.

Which isn’t true, not even a little bit. I’ve got all those amazing and exciting things to look forward to this summer, and I couldn’t be more grateful for wonderful family and friends and the opportunities and experiences I’ll get.

But it won’t be here.

At least I won’t miss the humidity. 

‘I would like to hold my little hand
how we will run away
how we will crawl
send me on my way.’ - ‘Send Me On My Way’, Rusted Root