I can’t tell people things.
Instead, I’m passive aggressive and rant about them to a third party who usually doesn’t know the person who caused my anger.
Or, it seems, I write about it on the internet for the two people who follow me to read. Go figure.
Either way, I don’t do well with telling people when something is wrong or when they’ve done something to piss me off.
Instead, I’m passive aggressive and rant about them to a third party who usually doesn’t know the person who caused my anger.
Or, it seems, I write about it on the internet for the two people who follow me to read. Go figure.
Either way, I don’t do well with telling people when something is wrong or when they’ve done something to piss me off.
Which is entirely hypocritical of me. And I’m aware of that. And I hate it.
I preach communication for the benefit of relationships more than most. Whenever someone is telling me about something someone did that upset them, I usually defer to ‘well, have you talked to them about it?’ or something of that ilk.
I imagine it comes from my family - while we may not be the best at how we approach our problems, we talked about the things that bothered us. Granted with much screaming and raging, but we got it out as best we could and that usually resulted in a fix of some sort.
And I think there’s always some part of me that just wants the person to know that they’ve done something to piss me off. How can you NOT notice you’re doing this to me? HOW. HOWHOWHOW.
But I rationalize my not telling them, either with the venting I did to ‘get it out of my system’ or the fact that I’m usually over it after a day or so and it’s no longer a problem.
But then it happens again.
And again.
And - wait for it - AGAIN.
And it’s a problem, and I don’t tell the person, and I’m not acting the grownup like I know I should and wish I could be, so I don’t tell them even more because I feel immature for not bringing it up in the first place, and then they’re never told.
Or they are, and I blow up like freaking Mt. Saint Helens did. Twice.
In THIS particular instance, the worst bit is she’s doing to me EXACTLY what she claims infuriates her to no end when others do it.
SO HOW IN THE HELL CAN YOU NOT REALIZE YOU’RE DOING TO ME WHAT YOU FUCKING CLAIM TO HATE.
Lil bit of bullshit, lil bit of hypocrisy.
I preach communication for the benefit of relationships more than most. Whenever someone is telling me about something someone did that upset them, I usually defer to ‘well, have you talked to them about it?’ or something of that ilk.
I imagine it comes from my family - while we may not be the best at how we approach our problems, we talked about the things that bothered us. Granted with much screaming and raging, but we got it out as best we could and that usually resulted in a fix of some sort.
And I think there’s always some part of me that just wants the person to know that they’ve done something to piss me off. How can you NOT notice you’re doing this to me? HOW. HOWHOWHOW.
But I rationalize my not telling them, either with the venting I did to ‘get it out of my system’ or the fact that I’m usually over it after a day or so and it’s no longer a problem.
But then it happens again.
And again.
And - wait for it - AGAIN.
And it’s a problem, and I don’t tell the person, and I’m not acting the grownup like I know I should and wish I could be, so I don’t tell them even more because I feel immature for not bringing it up in the first place, and then they’re never told.
Or they are, and I blow up like freaking Mt. Saint Helens did. Twice.
In THIS particular instance, the worst bit is she’s doing to me EXACTLY what she claims infuriates her to no end when others do it.
SO HOW IN THE HELL CAN YOU NOT REALIZE YOU’RE DOING TO ME WHAT YOU FUCKING CLAIM TO HATE.
Lil bit of bullshit, lil bit of hypocrisy.
And then my inability to educate her on her actions and my pissed-off-ness.
‘Just because I’m hurting
doesn’t mean I’m hurt
doesn’t mean I didn’t get what I deserved
no better and no worse.’ - 'Lost', Coldplay
doesn’t mean I didn’t get what I deserved
no better and no worse.’ - 'Lost', Coldplay
No comments:
Post a Comment