College has been hard for me.
The first couple months I spent very little time outside of my room, save for classes and getting food. I didn’t have any friends to hang out with, so most of my time was spent huddled in my pajamas on my bed with my computer, trying to reconnect with home from so far away.
But then after those two months, I began spending time with Meg - and things changed. Quite a bit. I had someone with whom I could not only get food and meet up after classes for homework, but to hang out and just be.
Sure, with her friendship came her drama, but I’d rather suffer through that than lose her friendship. Not just because I’d be excessively lonely, but also because she’s become one of my best friends.
Which is actually saying something, because I don’t make friends that easily. I can keep them, to be sure, but my usual modus operandi for ‘making friends’ stems from awkward moments and lilted conversation. And that actually means I don’t make many. Sure, there were people with whom I was friendly, but none who would go out of their way to hang out with me or even get to know me. Which made it hard for me to do the same.
But now, with this new semester and me with direction and an actual major, I’ve met SO MANY awesome and wonderful people. And I have my own circle of friends within the production majors - which I of course had to lovingly dub my ‘Drama Llamas’.
And I came to the realization today that I am rarely happier than when I am with my llamas. Maybe when I’m just hanging with Meg and we’re not simply homeworking. Watching 'How I Met Your Mother' with her has been awesome, as was making our way through 'Trueblood' together.
But ALL the time I spend with my llamas is great. Even when we’re in the design studio for hours on end working on neck-breaking projects that all we’ll do is complain about. Our group dynamic is so weird and silly and breathtakingly funny. Even some of the upperclassmen in the department have said that, were it not for their shared majors, they wouldn’t be friends with the others of their grade. They’ve even commented on our relationship and how different it is from theirs.
What’s great is that our time within the context of class is always fun and wonderful. But we also do things outside of the classroom - like teaching Katie to ride a bike, or Beja driving the five of us to the beach (or at least attempting to). Even simply watching movies while we work on projects in the studio. We’ve become our own little family. Granted, it’s extremely convoluted (I won’t even try to explain it outside the five of us) and wacky as all hell. But it’s OURS.
Having them, simply HAVING them at all has made this semester so much better than last. We’re all designated to spend time together working, and we’ll have fun to boot, and make messes bonding all over the place. It’s heartbreaking to think that I may not be able to spend another semester with them simply due to finances.
‘Everybody wants to be understood
well, I can hear you
everybody wants to be loved
don’t give up
because you are loved.’ - ‘You Are Loved (Don’t Give Up)’, Josh Groban
I mean, no more than for most people, so it’s really not that big a deal. But I bring it up to preface my actual point for this post. So, moving on.
The first couple months I spent very little time outside of my room, save for classes and getting food. I didn’t have any friends to hang out with, so most of my time was spent huddled in my pajamas on my bed with my computer, trying to reconnect with home from so far away.
But then after those two months, I began spending time with Meg - and things changed. Quite a bit. I had someone with whom I could not only get food and meet up after classes for homework, but to hang out and just be.
Sure, with her friendship came her drama, but I’d rather suffer through that than lose her friendship. Not just because I’d be excessively lonely, but also because she’s become one of my best friends.
Which is actually saying something, because I don’t make friends that easily. I can keep them, to be sure, but my usual modus operandi for ‘making friends’ stems from awkward moments and lilted conversation. And that actually means I don’t make many. Sure, there were people with whom I was friendly, but none who would go out of their way to hang out with me or even get to know me. Which made it hard for me to do the same.
But now, with this new semester and me with direction and an actual major, I’ve met SO MANY awesome and wonderful people. And I have my own circle of friends within the production majors - which I of course had to lovingly dub my ‘Drama Llamas’.
And I came to the realization today that I am rarely happier than when I am with my llamas. Maybe when I’m just hanging with Meg and we’re not simply homeworking. Watching 'How I Met Your Mother' with her has been awesome, as was making our way through 'Trueblood' together.
But ALL the time I spend with my llamas is great. Even when we’re in the design studio for hours on end working on neck-breaking projects that all we’ll do is complain about. Our group dynamic is so weird and silly and breathtakingly funny. Even some of the upperclassmen in the department have said that, were it not for their shared majors, they wouldn’t be friends with the others of their grade. They’ve even commented on our relationship and how different it is from theirs.
What’s great is that our time within the context of class is always fun and wonderful. But we also do things outside of the classroom - like teaching Katie to ride a bike, or Beja driving the five of us to the beach (or at least attempting to). Even simply watching movies while we work on projects in the studio. We’ve become our own little family. Granted, it’s extremely convoluted (I won’t even try to explain it outside the five of us) and wacky as all hell. But it’s OURS.
I'm rarely more comfortable than when I'm with them, rarely more at ease and simply happy. Which means a hell of a lot to me, after a semester of discomfort and downright despair.
Having them, simply HAVING them at all has made this semester so much better than last. We’re all designated to spend time together working, and we’ll have fun to boot, and make messes bonding all over the place. It’s heartbreaking to think that I may not be able to spend another semester with them simply due to finances.
‘Everybody wants to be understood
well, I can hear you
everybody wants to be loved
don’t give up
because you are loved.’ - ‘You Are Loved (Don’t Give Up)’, Josh Groban
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